It's a week and a half since I posted - why so reluctant? On New Year's Eve my friend PG came around. We only see each other about once or twice a year since he moved to Dublin, so it was nice to see him.
After he had gone, K. and I had another argument. We were both drunk, and both said things that upset the other and, until yesterday, haven't really been on speaking terms. After that it was straight back to work, and I've been very busy ever since. Had lots of work to do to get product ready for CES, the Consumer Electronics Show in Las Vegas that has been taking place this week, and it meant working some vetry late nights.
All of which sounds like excuses and it's just not good enough! How I feel about things like the argument is what I'm meant to be writing about! It's very peculiar. Now that I'm actually writing, I feel fine, but working up to actually starting fills me with dread!
We had another discusion come argument on Tuesday night. I found another small bottle of wine hidden behind some cushions on the dining room sofa, and I asked her straight out why she was doing that. That got me an accusation of "snooping around the house checking up on me", which in this particular instance was true, but I found the first bottle because it was badly hidden, not because I was snooping. She seemed pretty upset that I knew what was going on, and clearly didn't remember that I had told her that I had found hidden bottles during a previous argument.
She complained that I had lots of people to talk to and that she had no-one. It's probably true that I have talked to more people, but not in any great depth. Eventually, we worked our way around to the fact that she promised to discuss our financial situation back in October, when S. brought her home. This has yet to happen, and when I mentioned how long it had been, and that she had promised S. she said that I should never have got him involved in the first place. Well, fiad enough, I don't really like involving him, but he seemed like a neutral party that we both know, and after all it was her that involved him by going round there in the first place! after that, the discussion was in danger of descending into a full-blown argument, so I left it at that. It's so hard for her to understand that I really do care. I've clearly made things worse over xmas be trying to be more affectionate. She just doesn't want that.
On Wednesday I bought her some flowers on the way home from work, just to try and show I do care. Anyway, we're talking again, but it's all very strained, and really, we have made no progress whatsoever.
No comments:
Post a Comment