All or nothing

What am I to do? Whenever I even begin to think about writing, I am immediately felled by one of two problems (in my head, of course). I either have 'nothing meaningful' to write about, or a violent mob of 'very meaningful' thoughts that I feel I have to apply some thought to in order to do justice by them!

But I've opened the page on the browser now, so maybe I can say something. In fact, maybe I should make this page my homepage so that every time I open my browser it invites me in - "wanna play again?" What's that from? A video game?

So. I just looked back at some past posts and to see how little I have said. I split with K. I'm 'in therapy' - since about two years ago. After I split from K I became depressed. Well actually I suppose I was already depressed but I became ready to admit it. I became suicidal. I'm not sure I could have ever gone through with anything, but I certainly put myself into danger a few times. Driving fast. Driving recklessly. Walking in bad weather, with bad ideas. Staring over the parapets of bridges. Standing to close to the edge of platform when the train arrives. I have to admit that it always felt a little melodramatic. Like I was watching myself do it, and thinking 'drama queen'. Enough. For now. Kids want to watch a film :)